Well, a little tardy (and nooo, I haven't been hungover since January 1st), but here's Fancy's Top Ten 2014 New Year's Resolutions: Fancyinheels
10. More boners for my gentlemen.
9. More bones for my doggy.
8. More doggy for ME.
7. I will stop considering chocolate a food group.
6. I will consider using a treadmill as something other than a coat rack. (Maybe if I dangle a piece of chocolate in front....) I don't understand. Last year I asked God for a thinner body and a fatter bank account. Evidently he got confused.
5. I will try for more variety in my life.... short men, tall men, plump men, skinny men .... Oh, wait, I'm already doing that. Okay.... Not just Jameson and Bushmills Irish Whiskeys, but Tyrconnell, Greenore, Concannon, Michael Collins, Connemara, Kilbeggan, and Redbreast for a breasty redhead!
4. I will have my liver checked. (See #5.)
3. I will resurrect "Fancy Tips for EEE: Enriched Erotic Enjoyment," a feature on my old website's blog. Some of you lusty gentlemen might find these hints helpful in getting you more satisfying action in the bedroom. Your woman will stop pretending to be asleep, or won't just snore through it and tell you the next morning that she dreamed about a gerkin last night while she dives into the Claussen dill pickle jar for breakfast.
2. I will go somewhere that doesn't have "TX" in the mailing address. I love to travel, and as a tart and sassy companion I've been Irish lucky and visited many lovely places -- Hawaii, Costa Rica, St. Lucia, Cozumel, Key West, NYC, Vegas, New Orleans, London, Paris -- but not lately. I'm getting restless. My passport is gathering dust. My suitcases are dry-rotting. I need to find my leprechaunian roots. Dammit, I still need to join the Mile High Club!
And my top resolution for the year:
1. To write "2014" instead of "2013" on my checks.
HAPPY NUDE LEER!